....kiss me, before you go. i'm goin' nowhere now...

lyrics of Barfly by Ray LaMontagne playing on my Pandora at the library

i've spent a lot of time here over the past couple of months, as you can imagine. free wi-fi, no pressure to buy coffee you don't want to drink and relatively safe. when i have a table buddy i never hesitate to pee.

there's a guy who's been here as regularly, if not more so, than i have. he works on a laptop and i've been known to sit here for four or five hours in a row job searching and chatting on the facebook with the fam while they slave away at their respective day jobs. at first i thought maybe he was unemployed, like me. maybe he is. maybe he works "from home." ... no idea. but today he's clearly reading something and mouthing the words to himself. just gets me curious. but being as this is the public space we're all supposed to feel safe in, i don't play Friends With Strangers. not, yet.

dang - pandora is good to me. My Skin by Natalie Merchant

so, yeah. I've got this job offer and i'm having a tough time knowing my transition is going to kick me in the ass so hard i might cry for a week.

i'll be going from next to no scheduled activity to working five days a week, class two nights a week, teaching one night a week, clinical on saturdays and teaching on sundays... can you do the math, there, folks? no lime for ol yorlor.

wow.

holy crap.

and yet i'm grateful for the opportunity and the challenge. Touchstone's first words were about how i'd be working for the social justice. it made me miss having him around, the bastard. he's still in guatemala with the local chica, planning to follow her wherever she lands for grad school. ... breathe in, breathe out.

i'm waiting for my unemployment to come out of appeal and, naturally, hoping they'll rule in my favor and i'll get back pay from october [a good chunk of change, my friends] which will get me out of the rears with everyone and give me the chance to take a sunday off from teaching from time to time this semester. maybe even take a day trip out to see BK's folks.

in the meantime i've got lists of things to try and get done each day and just in general and then there are lists of things to do if this appeal clears in my favor, like new shoes and maybe a faucet for the kitchen.

alright, kiddos, i've got to keep the job hunt up. mom says hunt until dinner is on the table. so hunt i will.

kisses,
yl