....i want....

i have this habit
i'm not even always aware of

where i'll be walking
or stretching
or on the train
or an escalator


and i'll be thinking inside my head
like taffy being pulled apart
for whatever reason it is
one stretches taffy apart
over
and over
and over
and over
again



and it just eeps out




...i want...


and sometimes i don't even realize i'm saying it
out loud




but i do.





i.



want.




a clean start.
and i'm getting it.
like i've never had it given me before.

tonight i was hungry

for something below my belly button

for the mouth

the skin

the scent

the sweat

of someone who wants me

why does it feel

sometimes

like nobody wants me

[except kimmersk, if i were to get her drunk enough

and slick, if he weren't so head over head (sorry) for trish,

god bless her ever-loving soul]

step one....