rehab expounded

i asked for this
a new beginning
a kind of cleansing beginning that might
lose me from the noose
of the yoke i have carried
for so many years



pride
self sustaining ego
an anger that kept everyone
just close enough to admire it
but too strong for anyone to
truly get close
without getting hurt




and so here i am
starting over
in life
in work
in school
in my home
in myself





every day
every hour
every moment



phone calls,
emails,
posts,
lectures,
clinicals,
shifts,
meals,
walks,
income,
expenses.





all an opportunity to start new
afresh
perhaps wizened
perhaps with the knowledge that this time


this time



this
time




i can make something fruitful
in a way i haven't been able to bear fruit
before.







...i will start anew with each step,
i will allow myself to die and be born again
with each breath.
let them only see my breathing.