not yet, world, just not yet

so i'm getting requests for stuff.

and time.

and me.

and i'm just not ready, yet.

...

i'm supposed to have "coffee" with a friend of a friend.
conveniently, she had pneumonia and i had been watching someone else's kids with the influenza all week.
raincheck.

but now i've got to reschedule, right?
and meet her, right?
and maybe find out she's wonderful and hot and we hit it off immediately... right?

but i just can't get around those five minutes where i'm supposed to explain what's happened in the last two years of my life.

and i just can't get around looking into the eyes of someone who has no idea what i have just lost, or why i gave so much or that i'd give it all over again, and again, and again.

i'm just not ready to do that, yet.

...