it's all a blur...
so much i still should say, should tell you.
about the trip. about the trinkets. about how i lost a toenail.
...
and it's all blurry here.
i think it was about ten days until i felt like i was waking up in America. and even now, as i prepare to close my eyes for a few hours before starting another marathon of not being here [in my house] i know that i will forget where i am when i roll over between dream fragments.
you'll be there [ah...which you, right?], and so will my sister and i won't know what day it is or when we have to be where...
so many decisions i'm not making. like i'm waiting for the fog to lift so that the declaration of my intentions is better guided by clear vision.
maybe tomorrow will feel like one day closer to knowing when to jump.
_______________________
tomorrow i will spend another full day with BK, who, her mom tells me is on "palliative sedation" ~~ or drugged to the gills to control the pain, which has become unbearable.
then i spend 36 of the next 48 hours at the hospital. joy of joys!
pray for me as i prepare to jump that ship and get a [barf] big girl job, where i may not get bent over a horse without lube. or maybe get bent under the horse... maybe i should watch less Dirty Jobs before bedtime...
about the trip. about the trinkets. about how i lost a toenail.
...
and it's all blurry here.
i think it was about ten days until i felt like i was waking up in America. and even now, as i prepare to close my eyes for a few hours before starting another marathon of not being here [in my house] i know that i will forget where i am when i roll over between dream fragments.
you'll be there [ah...which you, right?], and so will my sister and i won't know what day it is or when we have to be where...
so many decisions i'm not making. like i'm waiting for the fog to lift so that the declaration of my intentions is better guided by clear vision.
maybe tomorrow will feel like one day closer to knowing when to jump.
_______________________
tomorrow i will spend another full day with BK, who, her mom tells me is on "palliative sedation" ~~ or drugged to the gills to control the pain, which has become unbearable.
then i spend 36 of the next 48 hours at the hospital. joy of joys!
pray for me as i prepare to jump that ship and get a [barf] big girl job, where i may not get bent over a horse without lube. or maybe get bent under the horse... maybe i should watch less Dirty Jobs before bedtime...
posted by yorlor at 00:50
1 Comments:
i wondered where you were.
sounds like life is just busy busy busy over there.
where'd you go?
a new job? suuwwweet. [i hope!]
sorry to hear bout bk. i really am. i thought she was winning this race. i'll continue to do what i only know...and that's pray.
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