momma said, there'd be days like this

i got canned.

on a sunday, no less.

that's what you get for working for a Jewish organization.

it was coming. i didn't want to see it. i wanted to believe that they wanted it to work out, as well. alas, they were hiring someone right under me. ~~ouch~~ i'm such a trusting soul, sometimes.

to be honest, i just didn't want to find another sinking ice berg when the one i was standing on was working just fine, thank you. ~or~ [the other analogy i really have come to like] it was like trying to wear the wrong shoe, or the wrong sized shoe, definitely something too small, not too large, not room for growth, not room for hope, no room to wiggle the toes. small. awkward. painful, at times. confining. and i thought my painfully awkwardly large ass comfortable self would be okay sitting like that for as long as it took for them to need me to be all i could be.

~blargh~

in a phone call, no less.

but i have at least five leads for jobs tomorrow. so there is that to look forward to.

and the fact that i just don't have the dread of going into that situation in the morning.

i am sad that they couldn't be more honest earlier. that they couldn't say "we know you're stressed about your school starting, then having to move, then our school starting, but... well... it's just that, we want to have someone who fits sit there."

i can respect that.

but this. this was cowardly. and cruel. and very retarded.

noone needs to be treated this way. really.

what are they going to say to the people who liked me?

sigh.

okay, it is late and i am once again tired. so i am going to roll over and not likely will i need this strong cup of chamomile i just started brewing at my side. not likely this evening.

...heh, shalom.