holy shit: yorlor does action/drama
"WTF? yorlor? what is this madness you speak of?"
i'm making a new friend. an aquaintence from the pool. we show up at the same time a lot lately. we've begun chatting. telling jokes. now we're actually talking about what's going on.
it's the first genuine friend i've begun to make since before i started school. someone out of context of the rest of my life. someone who wasn't in class with me. or a co-worker. or a co-worker of someone i already know well. someone to whom my life and reality is a blank canvas.
so we're telling stories. and we're past the ambiguous "my boss" phase and getting into repeating characters and their development in our tales of laughter, frustration and woe. and then it hit me: i wanted to say "God, my life sounds dramariffic, sometimes. eh?"
but:
my best friend is battling cancer and life is precious. things can get hairy. sometimes a lot to handle. we get through it. i don't call this drama, i call it life. it's a gift and we're doing the best we can to enjoy it right now, shit storm avail and all.
i've applied to get back into school, where i was dismissed a month before graduation because i had to work part time to keep health insurance and be responsible and pay non deferable debt with a paycheck and not a school loan. again, i call this life. it happens.
i work three jobs. i work a lot. my debt from school is so close to triple digits it makes my heart stop beating. so i work a lot to make up for the fact that my paychecks, individually, are wee in comparison to what i owe. i work a lot so that i don't have time to think about the pit i am in an how much it makes me feel like i am suffocating. i happen to be blessed with work that feeds me in more ways than one. i call it responsibility. i call it taking control of what i can control. i call it doing something productive about my situation. this is also why i'm trying to complete my degree and secure my license. because i'm a damn fine nurse and i want to double my paycheck and half my working hours.
one of my jobs involves working with people amidst medical crisis. it is nitty and gritty and emotional and tough and challenging and i love it. and i'm good at it. and i don't want to do anything else.
and then there's the cracked pot that is my love life. spider webs and all.
just hard to open the page and say, "oh yeah, thank you for joining us, we're here on page 2902, where yorlor has just...."
it's a good thing this person has witnessed the miracle that is my swimming instruction and how much the families i work with really love and trust me. otherwise i may not be making a new friend at all.
feeling: humble and grateful and happy and not as frazzled or insecure or dramariffic as i did when i started this post. thank you for listening.
i'm making a new friend. an aquaintence from the pool. we show up at the same time a lot lately. we've begun chatting. telling jokes. now we're actually talking about what's going on.
it's the first genuine friend i've begun to make since before i started school. someone out of context of the rest of my life. someone who wasn't in class with me. or a co-worker. or a co-worker of someone i already know well. someone to whom my life and reality is a blank canvas.
so we're telling stories. and we're past the ambiguous "my boss" phase and getting into repeating characters and their development in our tales of laughter, frustration and woe. and then it hit me: i wanted to say "God, my life sounds dramariffic, sometimes. eh?"
but:
my best friend is battling cancer and life is precious. things can get hairy. sometimes a lot to handle. we get through it. i don't call this drama, i call it life. it's a gift and we're doing the best we can to enjoy it right now, shit storm avail and all.
i've applied to get back into school, where i was dismissed a month before graduation because i had to work part time to keep health insurance and be responsible and pay non deferable debt with a paycheck and not a school loan. again, i call this life. it happens.
i work three jobs. i work a lot. my debt from school is so close to triple digits it makes my heart stop beating. so i work a lot to make up for the fact that my paychecks, individually, are wee in comparison to what i owe. i work a lot so that i don't have time to think about the pit i am in an how much it makes me feel like i am suffocating. i happen to be blessed with work that feeds me in more ways than one. i call it responsibility. i call it taking control of what i can control. i call it doing something productive about my situation. this is also why i'm trying to complete my degree and secure my license. because i'm a damn fine nurse and i want to double my paycheck and half my working hours.
one of my jobs involves working with people amidst medical crisis. it is nitty and gritty and emotional and tough and challenging and i love it. and i'm good at it. and i don't want to do anything else.
and then there's the cracked pot that is my love life. spider webs and all.
just hard to open the page and say, "oh yeah, thank you for joining us, we're here on page 2902, where yorlor has just...."
it's a good thing this person has witnessed the miracle that is my swimming instruction and how much the families i work with really love and trust me. otherwise i may not be making a new friend at all.
feeling: humble and grateful and happy and not as frazzled or insecure or dramariffic as i did when i started this post. thank you for listening.
posted by yorlor at 23:53
5 Comments:
this new friend is very lucky to have met you.
they are blessed.
you have a lot of layers and there are many sides to you dear yorlor. I'm glad you share SOME of them with me/us.
i wish i could swim well. i can't. i can doggie paddle like a retriever though.
okay. you're the second person to make such kind comment in response.
i surrender.
Hey lady, did you call a taxi?
Where you goin?
...some folks like to get away
take a holiday from the neighborhood.
hop a flight to miami beach or to hollywood.
i'm just taking a greyhound on the Hudson River Line.
I'm in a New York state of mind...
I thought I left a comment here.
Blogger hates me. HA!
I said something like 'you are an inspiration to me'. I truly mean that. ac
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